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"I Think, Therefore I Ant."
April 18
5 Signs that Your Job Sucks
So you've finally
gotten off your lazy, sorry can and landed a new job and you're thrilled to be
in the working world again. Yes,
you’re deluded, but we won’t dwell on that today.
For now, let’s focus on your new 9 – 5 prison.
Hopefully, your new position will be one that provides you with
support, great opportunities and plenty of recognition for your successes.
Chances are excellent it doesn’t and the reality has finally kicked in that you've been
sentenced to an unhealthy work environment filled with toxic people who you would, on
any other occasion, run away screaming from. Here
are five real-life, sure-fire signs that your job sucks.
1. You ask your new boss for supplies and she jams a No. 2 pencil into your
eyeball. If she’s done it
correctly then you are now dead. And
nothing sucks more than dying.
2. You were shown to a cubicle your first day of work, and told the rent on
it was $700.00 a month. It doesn’t even come with a toilet!
3. Every time you tell someone about your new job with the company they
laugh in your face and then say, "Ha! You idiot!” A company's
reputation isn't always completely accurate, but they said the same thing
about your ex-girlfriend. And remember how that turned out?
4.
You answer the phone while the company's secretary is away from her desk and
find that the voice at the other end is a collection agency calling for the
third time that week. When you question the secretary on it, she jams a No. 2
pencil in your eye. Enough
said.
5. You notice that every day for the last five days, at least one person
has run crying from your boss's office. Like everything in life, it’s
funny until it happens to you.
April 17
HEY
KIDS, IT’S TIME FOR MORE
ASK FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER...
Advice
for the lovelorn, stitch-faced, bolt headed, confused, possibly Transylvanian
and all monstrous stops in-between and between the in-between.
Ask
Frank!
Dear
Frankenstein’s Monster:
I am separated from my rat of a husband of three years and have a beautiful
2-year-old rat-like son. (I call him “rat boy.”) Initially, I thought I'd
retain my married name (ironically, it was “Rat”) but I don’t like being
known as “that divorced Rat Lady” as well, I’m not fond of “Mrs.
Rat” so I’m thinking of changing it. But
I’m worried it might be confusing for my son. Or will it? Do I know what the
hell I’m talking about? After all, I will always be "Mom" to him,
and nothing will change that.
Is it selfish of me to consider reverting back to my maiden name? (By the way,
my maiden name is “Droppings”.)
Frankenstein
Monster Say:
Hmmraggghh… Boy, mail sure is boring these days. Ragggh! Where all the
infidels and alcoholics? I know you out there! Mragggh! Okay, okay… Mgggmmm…
Frankenstein has solution. Use
both names, that way everyone win. From now on you be known as “Ms.
Rat-Droppings”. That has nice
ring to it…. Raghh!
Last Christmas is so 2006...
Only 251 Shopping Days Left Until Xmas!
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the top)
To read all the other mildly exciting editions of
"Avery's Daily Journal" visit
"Avery's Journal Archives"
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