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"I Think, Therefore I Ant."
January 23
This Week:
Stupid Deaths in History!
Tycho Brahe:
An important Danish astronomer (that, be honest, you’ve never heard of) from
way, way, way back in the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed
Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.
How he died: Of shame.
In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to leave a banquet table
before the meal was over. Oh sure, it was okay to own slaves and burn witches,
but one was still expected to know which fork to use for salad! Yes,
interesting times – not really. Brahe, known to drink excessively (a
completely forgivable practice), had a bladder the size of a peanut. But of
course, good manners ensured he kept this information to himself. Anyway,
while boozing it up one night he failed to relieve himself before the banquet
started and, being the smart guy he was, continued on boozing too much all
through the meal. Normally he would have been too polite (or loaded) to ask to
be excused, but worrying that his bladder might burst, thus killing him slowly
and painfully over several weeks, he announced he “really had to pee.” His
dinner companions were, of course mortified! Realizing his terrible mistake he
died of shame, right on the spot.
January 22
Attila the Hun:
One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had conquered all
of Asia by 450 AD-from
Mongolia
to the edge of the Russian Empire-by destroying villages and pillaging the
countryside.
How he died: From holding his breath too long on his wedding night.
In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico. Despite his reputation
for ferocity on the battlefield, he was a timid little guy when it came
to matters of love. After
completely failing to satisfy his bride on the night of their nuptials, Ildico
offered to show Attila what to do to please a woman.
Attila, being the proud savage and insecure nut job that he was,
steadfastly refused. An argument
ensued and Attila told his new wife that he was going to hold his breath until
she changed the subject. She finally changed it when her blue-faced husband
keeled over dead.
Last Christmas is so 2006...
Only 335 Shopping Days Left Until Xmas!
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