"I Think, Therefore I Ant."
March 5
This
Week: Forgotten Kid's
TV Stars
No one
remembers these long forgotten TV shows (hence them being
"forgotten"), or the kids who starred in them.
But the post TV lives of these young stars is the stuff of
Shakespearian tragedy.
(Special
thanks to my pal Spud for finding these rare archival posters.)
To see larger
image
Star’s
Name:
Willy Bing Frier
Starred
In: “Oh
That Sparky!”
Character: Sparky McPhee
Years
Show Ran: 1954
– 1957
Show’s
Situation: Seven
year old Sparky is a firebug. He
and his dog mittens are always up to something.
Show’s
Appeal: Sparky
is a young pyromaniac with a facial twitch. Mittens is an intelligent and
adorable mutt who is always up to something. The combination proves to be
comic gold.
Famous Buzz Line: “I
didn’t start the fire! It was Mittens, I tells ya. Aw,
he’s always up to something!”
Most
Memorable Episode: Sparky
gives Joe, the housepainter, a bottle of whisky because Joe is thirsty – but
not for water! Mittens alerts
Sparky’s parents who are playing bridge next door with the Smith’s.
In a memorable closing scene, Sparky’s parents come home to find
their house burning down and smiling Sparky standing outside and staring
happily at the blaze. Joe screams
from a window just before the house collapses in a fiery rubble. Sparky’s
parents explain to their boy that Joe was a “sick man addicted to
alcohol.” They assure him he’s
better off dead. Mittens drops the
empty scotch bottle at their feet. Everyone laughs.
Reason For Cancellation: In
January 1957, Mittens chokes to death on a soup bone in his
Hollywood
doghouse. Willy Bing Frier is
unable to sustain the comedy situation without his multitalented canine
sidekick.
Where Is He Now? After
crossing the border to
Canada
in order to avoid serving in
Vietnam
, he starred in the unsuccessful Canadian situation comedies “Sparky’s All
Grown Up!” (1974 – 75) and “The Trouble With Sparky” (1975 – 76) He
returned to America and television in 1980 for ill fated drama series,
“Sparky – Medical Doctor” He
left show business after that and spent the next six years drifting through
South America. In 1987 he
publishes his life story, “Call Me Sparky – And I Swear I’ll Fucking
Kill You!” Book is roundly
excoriated by critics. Stung by
their attacks, Willy Bing Frier travels to
Vietnam
for an extended vacation. While there, he steps on a forgotten landmine and
dies.
Last Christmas is so 2006...
Only 294 Shopping Days Left Until Xmas!
(to
the top)
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