BROADCASTER: We now take you to Amsterdam for the "International Anthropology Seminar on Unusual Human Sub-Species".  Now approaching the podium is noted Scientist Doctor Reinheim Fleiss.

DOCTOR:  Fellow Scientists, Doctors, ladies and gentlemen today we are going to be studying the species URBAN METROPOLIS TOWER WORKER, or, as he is more commonly known, BAY STREET MAN. Hans could you please bring him in....

SFX: Audience gasps.

DOCTOR: Please Doctors...I assure you that he cannot escape from the cage. That glass is shatterproof.

BAY ST MAN: Why don't we meet at lunch and you can give me your bottom line. Damn it Fred, I just can't do it at that price.

DOCTOR: He seems agitated. Hans please, give him the Financial Post; that always seems to calm him down. Very well...the first thing that you will notice about Bay Street Man is his demeanour. He appears to be in a constant state of agitation and is always, always in a rush.

BAY ST MAN: Taxi...taxi....!

HANS: He won't calm down Doctor.

BAY ST MAN: Remember all the people you pass on your way up so you can fire them when you get to the top.

DOCTOR: Medicate him Hans.

HANS: Right away Doctor.

BAY ST MAN: Ah....martini.

DOCTOR: I apologize for the disturbance, all should be fine now. As I was saying, Bay Street Man is always in a rush; time and management are his watchwords. Notice the way he continually cocks his head whilst simultaneously turning his wrist toward his face even though his time keeping apparatus was removed hours ago while he slept.  Bay Street Man seems to be always on the move, whether he be traveling in packs on commuter trains, or at the gym working out so that he may live longer and thus work out more. The Bay Street Man is a fascinating creature. One irony about him is that although he is active in the money markets he is reticent to discuss his own income unless he is under the influence of alcoholic intoxicants. Then he will either: A) Boast about his salary; B) bemoan his yearly income; or C) claim he could have played professional hockey. He finds his winters too cold and his summers too hot and extols the virtues of U-Brews and Ping Putters. He has a financial plan, a health plan, a retirement plan and plans for dinner on Thursday so don't even bother to call him. Bay Street Man is also characterized by his receding hairline and throbbing temples...at first thought to be signs of sexual arousal but which have now been confirmed to be the results of long term stress and daily commuting from Etobicoke, Whitby , Mississauga , and Pickering . Our particular Bay Street Man has just entered his middle-age-spread-mid-life-crisis-mid-management period. As you can see he is thickening at the waist a little. This is not uncommon in Bay Street Man once they have fought off the young challengers to their jobs and have settled into a good firm at a minimum $250 thousand per annum... The brief case that our Bay Street Man is currently sucking on for comfort is the most common identifier of Bay Street Man. It is the proud symbol that the Bay Street Man has arrived. His fine leather briefcase with locks and gold snaps is the ultimate testament to his manliness and success. The size of the Bay Street Man's briefcase is usually a signifier of his place in the hierarchy. It is not uncommon to see packs of young Bay Street Men gathered at water coolers wrestling and biting each others necks in order to establish dominance and earn respect... And so have Bay Street Men: Big men in big towers, with big money and wielding big power but look inside each and every one you'll find a little shit.