I am ant — hear me rant!
THIS WEEK'S RANT:
Requiem For An Ant
Thanks for nothing.
To watch more rants, scroll down and
click on the link beside each picture
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Generation FatWe grow 'em big in North America. |
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Win A Dream Date With Avery
Spend a no-expenses paid night out on the town with me. Bring a paper cup if you're not fond of guzzling from the bottle. |
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Curious George
George visits Maybelline. Bad things go down. |
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The "B" Word
In the insect kingdom, this word's a no-no. |
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The Freaky Wal-Mart Experience
Shopping never felt so wrong. |
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Male Ego
It's too big to keep in your head. |
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The Inquisitive Nature of Humans What does your inquisitive nature get you? |
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Village Idiots
One day they might be gone forever. |
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Going Ape Over Evolution
Monkeying about with Darwinism. |
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The Slut of my Dreams Ploughing is in the air. |
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The Alphabet of Life
From Arrival to Zombie. |
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Avery Ant's Sperm Bank
Put your sperm in our hands. |
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The National Ant Plea
It's simple: Stop handing out magnifying glasses to four-year-old-brats! |
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How To Cheat On Your Income Tax
"Creative solutions" provided by Avery Ant. |
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President P. R. Bush
Spin that Buzz by George. |
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The Solution To HomelessnessTwo Words, "People Hills." |
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The Evil That Is EvilEveryone, everything, everywhere: It's all evil. |
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Canadian Pot & American Guns Which would you prefer? |
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Hot Summer Tips The Ant on "How to be cool." |
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What's Wrong With Rock Stars Today
In less than 200 words - if you can! |
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Ronald McDonald's Big Flabby McMakeover
The Man, the myth, the clown. |
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Talibant Rant
It's always the last place you look. |
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Ants In The Movies
I'm PO'd about the lack of choice roles for ants in Hollywood films. |
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Bloody British Boozers
24 Hour Drinking in Britain Sounds Safe and Fun! |
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Your Cards & Letters
Keep 'em coming! |
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Principles
Here me rant about the disgraceful lack of Avery merchandise. Feel my pain. |
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On Being A Successful Executive
You gotta do what cha' gotta do... |
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My Irrational Distrust of Real Estate Agents ...Isn't really all that irrational! |
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The Church of the Unionized ChristOur motto is: "I'm on my goddam break!" |
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Your Kid Isn't A Genius
Moms and Dads of the world face the facts. |
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What the Duck???Won't Get Flued Again. |
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Dating Circus Freaks
It's more fun than a barrel full of geeks! |
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Insomnia Insanity The Sleep of Reason. |
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At Odds & Ends
A Free Association Rant:
And Remember - Nothing's Free. |
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I Miss
Cultural regurgitation comes up and is here to stay. |
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Writers
Honestly, who needs 'em? |
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The Voice of Diss Ant
Survival tips from the ant. |
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The Prostitute Is On Her Way Look alive -- someone's got to. |
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Legalize Pot and Sing About Polygamy
That pretty much sums it up. |
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Pet Ants
The Germans have discovered the joy of ant farms... |
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OneThe scariest number. |
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Global Warming is Sexy! It's hot, hot, hot! |
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Operation Summer Rain Where's the shock and awe? |
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Sex Lives of Dead Bears
Are still more active than a living Panda. |
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Oh, Oh, Canada
What the hell happened to you? |
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The Facts of Life
The ant will set your kids,
er, straight? |
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Me So Liberal Guilty
Shame, shame, shame! |
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Black & Red Enslaving you two-leggers is good for the economy. |
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Charity Case Help me, help you. |
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Satan & Santa
My theory on "both" of
'em. |
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Easter Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Get Lent! |
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My Bloody Valentine
Love isn't always pretty. |
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The King of April Fools
Send in the clowns, pies, and whoopee cushions. |
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Helpfully Insolent Fathers Day Suggestions Do them for dad. |
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Screw Bastille Day!
Nothing's better than making fun of France. |
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Win A Month At Rehab With Avery
Let's do detox. |
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Win A Week at Avery's Ant Farm & Spa
Indulge your inner demons... |
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Freshly Dumped and Single Again
Hooray! I think. |
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Dr. Love
Prescribed by the PO'd Pismire. |
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The Death of Crikey Killed by Aussie Rules. |
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I Wanna Be The F#@$ing Poet Laureate I'd get to sleep in. |
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Dear God, it's been over 2000 days since
Dick Cheney's last heart attack
I'm just saying... |
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Quitting Smoking Sucks & Blows... ... Because you can't suck & blow smoke. |
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Ant Bully - A Profane & Biased Movie Review There's not enough sex. |
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America Needs a Hot Babe in The White House Hilary need not apply. |
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Bush Fever Far worse than the common cold. |
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What to Expect from George Bush in 2006
More of the same. |
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Vatican Condoms
Wrap yourself in the Church's Love. |
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Annoyed by Freud
He puts the id in idiot. |
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Part-Time Priests
Now Closed on Sundays |
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Avery Ant's School of Hard Knocks
You'll learn — the hard way. |
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Banks SuckAnd they do it well. |
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I Do Not Like MSNI do not like them, ant I am. |
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A Supreme Moron For The Supreme Court Here Come Da Judge |
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If I Were King
Long Live The Ant! |
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Avery for Pope!
He's Pope-A-Licious. |
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Carl Rove: Sinister Sex Symbol
Sorry girls, he's taken |
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Yo Camilla!
An unconventional proposal to a misunderstood rottweiler. |
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Gonzo Goes to Heaven
Gonzo but not forgotten. |
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The Ann Coulter Affair
It's weirder than... well, Ann Coulter! |
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Hard-Core Right Wing Sex
Man, are they chock full of nuts. |
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Drug Companies "R" Them
And it's all about them. |
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Fox - Jazeera
Finally, some balanced news reporting… |
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Sesame Street Speakers
Big Bird as commencement speaker doesn’t go over with the graduating punks at Villanova |
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Stem Cell Research: After all that political debate, the first project uses them as a cure for baldness. |
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Download This Those lucky Canucks get the green light to legally steal music. Only in Canada! |
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Seen Any Elves Lately? It's a fair enough question. |
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Stumping On Corruption Canada votes and the rest of the world sleeps. |
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A Modest Military ProposalFor Preventing The Army Of Canada
From Being A Burden To Taxpayers. |
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Vote for AveryWhy Avery? Why now? Why not! |
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My Primo Ministerial Political Program Avery's Stump Speech |
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Um, About the President....
We all suspected as much, didn't we? |
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Gay Wedlock Keep us politicians out of it! |
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Waste Your Vote on Me! It's sort of a plan. |
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My Political Platform I'm better than cholera. |
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Big Brother for PresidentVote 'em Out. Not In. |
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A Pismire's Plea to NaderJust say Nada to Nader. |
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The Draft A Once In A Lifetime Offer |
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George of the Concrete Jungle (H-Bomb Remix) He's baaack!. |
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Minorities: The only ones you can make fun of are: White Guys, Dung Beetles, and the President - who just happens to be all three! |
