Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 2/2004

Part II of "George Bush beats up the paperboy."

If you missed yesterday's spine tingling segment, (June 1/2004) I suggest you read it before going any further.

PART TWO: THE PAPERBOY RETURNS WITH A SHOCKING REVELATION!

George Bush is still laughing over having beaten up the paperboy for delivering him bad news. As he dances merrily about the White House lawn, Avery Ant notices that the paperboy, Terry Wilson, has returned. The wheezy 10-year-old lad, sports a black eye and taped up nose.

George: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Terry: (wheezing) Mr. Bush, I'd like to speak to you.

George Bush, the most powerful man in the free nation, looks startled and nervous that the boy has returned.

George: This is a bad time, kid. Come back later.

Avery: Hey, it's the Wilson kid that you beat up.

George: Come back tomorrow. Okay, junior?

Terry: I want to speak to you now!

George: Well, if you're collecting, I don't have any cash…

Terry: Keep your money! I'm collecting all right, but it's not for the paper.

George: Oh, come on kid, get real.

Avery: Look son, I think you should talk to your dad and have him press charges against the president for…

Terry: (wheezing heavily) I settle my own scores!

George: Here's a 20-dollar bill. My picture's not on it, but someday… No hard feelings, okay?

Terry: No hard feelings? I come up your driveway at 6 in the morning and you… you… you spineless…

George: He's hallucinating or something… I must have busted him up worse than I thought.

Avery: Listen son, I'll drive you home. That nasty president will never hurt you again.

Terry: (more wheezing) Darn right he won't, because this time I'm ready. You're not gonna sucker punch me again, Bush!

Avery: Sucker punch?

Terry: I had my back to him… He taps me on the shoulder and when I turn around - bingo bango! - he lets me have it in the face with a frozen lasagna… Then when I get up, he's locked himself in The White House, and won't come out and fight like a man. Well, I got you now, Bush.

TOMORROW: PART III AND THE FINAL CHAPTER IN THIS SAD SAGA. EPISODE: REVENGE OF THE PAPERBOY!

June 1/2004
May 31/2004
May 30/2004
May 29/2004
May 28/2004
May 27/2004
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