Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

May 27/2004

Was visited by the drunken ghost of Richard Nixon last night - again! He told me that, yes, it was true, that five days into the 1973 Arab-Israel war, he was too, "soused, hammer-locked, wasted, loaded, and pissed to the gills," he does go on!) to discuss the crisis with Brit Prime Minister, Edward Heath. I asked Richard's zombie "spirit" (Ha! Ha!) what this had to do with my running for the President of the USA. He got all spooky and ominous, rattled his chains, gave me the finger, went on again about not being a crook, and then had the ghostly balls to try and sell me Amway. I really gotta remember to close my window at nights…

Also: Met a rather inoffensive (if forgettable) character dressed as a Vulcan, at a "Star Trek Convention." Said his name was John Kerry, and that he was also running for President - who knew?

May 26/2004

Practiced new speech about the plight of the common worker and ant. Not sure if there should be a hyphen in "average-schmoe." Arranged to go golfing with Gaddafi, Bush Sr. and the guy who sang for Twisted Sister. As usual, I'm bringing the beer.

The Campaign In the USA

The Campaign In Canada