Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In Canada

June 5/2004

"Meanwhile, Mr. Broadbent is being greeted as a rock star at the doors he canvasses. Women want to touch him…"
Globe & Mail June 5, 2004

Decided to spend some time with my rock star buddy, Ed "Rock God" Broadbent. We had fun like only rock stars can! I swung by the hotel he was staying at around noon and Ed showed up in the lobby about an hour later, having just, "woken up, man." We went to the hotel bar to get him a hair of the dog. After a pitcher of margaritas and a fifth of scotch, he really seemed to perk up. First off we hit the tattoo parlors. Eddy got a flaming devil head on his shoulder and a flaming guitar on his neck. They made him look even cooler! (If that's possible.) Next up, off to a biker bar for more libations and to pick up chicks. Ed's a babe magnet and in no time the girls had formed a circle around his feet as he played a track from his new album. "NDP - National Dream Politician." I thought the song that he sang, "Do The Pole Cat" was a little commercial, but the girls went crazy over it. Later we went shopping for leather pants and spandex accessories, and after that we went back to his hotel room and jumped on the bed like it was trampoline until it broke. Hilarity! Then Ed told off the Craft Services people for forgetting to exclude the green jellybeans and he capped off the night by throwing his guitar through the TV screen and then tossing the bar fridge out the window. Of course by the time the cops showed up, his bodyguards and press agents had made him scarce, and yours truly was hauled off to jail. Those rock star politicians can get away with murder!

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Saw the pictures of 17-year-old-Harpo on the cover of the Globe & Mail. And now I know - he and Bill Gates are twins who were separated at birth. Talk about your revelations over morning coffee.

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Arrived home late to find Duceppe in my house wearing only a demented smile and an apron that read, "Kiss The Ant." He said he was hoping this would add some romance and spontaneity to our relationship. As I pushed him out my front door, he started to get really hostile, claiming that, "This isn't over, Ant Buddy!" And that as the most powerful man in Quebec, "Nobody says 'Non' to the paramours of Gilles and gets away with it!"

June 4/2004
June 3/2004
June 2/2004
June 1/2004
May 31/2004
May 30/2004
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The Campaign In Canada

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