Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In Canada

June 6/2004

The debates are still more than a week away but Kaiser Paul is raring to go. I text messaged him - but no reply. So I called him today and asked if he had any Prince Albert in a can. He finally got back on the phone line 45 minutes later and said, "No, sorry Avery; I called Sheila and asked, but all we have is Kraft Dinner." I once again found myself feeling sorry for the poor guy. Anyway, he's so anxious to get going on the debate that he suggested he and I have a few "practice rounds." I said, sure, what the hell, and he jumped in on the first subject. "5 pin bowling or 10 pin?" I took the 5 pin side and calmly explained that it was a lot more fun, could be done by kids as well as adults, and that the bowling balls had nicer coloured markings. He rebutted that 10 pin was better because he said so, and that I had arms like a girl. He then made the very astute point that if I didn't change my mind he was going to smash my head in with a 10 pin bowling ball. Then he said anyone who didn't think 10 pin was the way to go was a "stupid goof" and should be drawn and quartered. I think a few more "practice rounds" for Paul are definitely in order...

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Got a phone call from Raving Gilles. He was blubbering about how sorry he was to have threatened me and shown up naked at my house. He wailed that he loved, "my Ant Buddy!" I hung up. He called right back and this time he said that if I wasn't in love with him than it meant I was rejecting him and that rejection really made his French blood boil. He signed off telling me that even though he loved me, now I must die.

June 5/2004
June 4/2004
June 3/2004
June 2/2004
June 1/2004
May 31/2004
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