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Avery's
Campaign Journal
The Campaign In Canada
May 31/2004
Don't know that my holier-than-thou pal, Jesus Layton,
is all that clear about the Clarity Act. But he really will say anything
for a vote! One thing's for certain, I still haven't gotten over the images
of him and Olivia dancing at their campaign kick-off party. Chow-Chow's
one tough cookie and I had to laugh at her screaming at Dennis Mills to
stop yelling at her. It was funny for a couple of seconds, then it just
got embarrassing. I think I'm going to go to the work shed tonight and
make them a pair of matching "his" and "hers" crosses.
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Talk about outrage! I'm freakin' PO'd! Okay, tonight I'm chopping the
channels to get to that naked news station when I pass by the CBC, and
there, on the screen, is this blathering, dork of a loud mouth schnook,
Mike Erskine-Kellie, on Canada Now. And the buffoonish whelp and vacuous
windbag with glandular sacks the size of honeycombs is doing my material!
The &*@$!$%*! plagiarist is stealing my political ideas (see my campaign
journals -- May 27, Martin vs. McGuinty) and using them for - get this
- his "unique brand" of political "humour." That talentless,
baggy-eyed, imbecilic and pasty-faced moron is gonna hear from my lawyer.
And I'm begging all of you to call the CBC and complain about this indignity
on my behalf… Ask for Goober, I think he runs the joint.
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Okay,
Duceppe is definitely starting to weird me out. First there was all that
"just happening to show up" at the nightclubs I frequent. Then
there was the "lucky coincidence" (his words) when he joined
me at my table at the Tim Hortons. And of course, the subsequent kiss
he planted on my lips. I told him that I was flattered (I wasn't, but
I had to say something) but that I didn't share his feeling and would
he kindly go to hell and stop freakin' following me around!!! He giggled
and said I didn't mean it - but at least he left… Well, clearly this
saga isn't over: When I got home tonight, I checked my phone machine and
the guy had left over 100 rambling messages, including such keepers as,
"Hey Ant Buddy, just thinking of your sexy mandibles, so I decided
to drop you a line." And, "Hi Ant Buddy, I'm just hopping into
the shower,
so if you call, I will get back to you once I have toweled off. Oh what
the tabarnaque, I will take the phone into the shower with me. Call me,
Ant Buddy, I will be nude, rude, and, as always, thinking of you!"
How the hell did he get my phone number?
May 30/2004
May 29/2004
May 28/2004
May 27/2004
May 26/2004
May 25/2004
Canadian Archives
The
Campaign In Canada
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