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Campaign Journal A giggling Ralph “Wild Man” Nader said he expects to be on as many presidential ballots this November as in 2000, when he made the cut in 43 states and the District of Columbia. “I just love ruining things for the Democrats” the closet Republican admitted. The “Hapless Party Pooper” is also urging Americans to continue to ignore the Green Party and it’s eco-leader, David Cobb. “I know, I know, I’m drawing attention to those green nut jobs,” Nader told anyone who would listen, “but I honestly believe that until Mr. Cobb and his hippy cronies start bathing, they’re just not dignified enough to be running in this thing... And it would be so sweet to steal votes from them as well.” When asked to comment on the recent Republican TV Ads (that can only be described as a really wonderful example of “a smear job”) that cast doubts on John Kerry’s Vietnam record and which quotes Vietnam vets who never actually served under Kerry, claiming he’s “a chicken and cry baby,” Nader responded, “Hey, we’re here to talk about me for a change!” He later commented that maybe Senator John McCain (who has also felt the wrath of the Bush campaign) would be better suited to respond. Nader did say that “the television commercials were nicely shot, and I also liked the accompanying musical score.” Nader then said that “While the Republicans play on the fear of terrorism and the Democrats play on the fear of Bush, my party has yet to find our ‘fear card.’ I was thinking Wolf Blitzer, but, on second glance, I see that he’s about as controversial as an American Idol contestant. So now I’m leaning toward some sort of mysterious bogeyman that resides under the beds, or in the closets of all Americans. Let me get back to you on that one.”Aug 9 / 2004 |
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