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Campaign Journal Vice President and gargoyle Dick Cheney ridiculed Sen. John Kerry’s call for a “more sensitive” war on terrorism, saying it would not impress the “all those creepy and f&*%$ing Islamic militant terrorists.” “Sensitive? What the f*&% am I? A ‘McGreevey?’” Cheney barked at supporters. “A sensitive war will not destroy the evil men who are killing people. And that’s them – not us.” He was referring to Kerry’s statement last week at a minority journalists’ convention in which Kerry, the Democratic presidential nominee, said: “I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more benign, more benevolent, more neighborly, more solicitous, more conciliatory, more warm-hearted, more new and improved, more cultural, more dynamic, more eco-friendly, more feminist based, more value laden, and more sensitive war on terror.” Phil Singer, a spokesman for Kerry, said Thursday that Cheney was being “An old fart” and was twisting Kerry’s words. Singer noted that President Bush had also used the word “sensitive.” (The president used the “s” word when he stated, “I really hate those sensitive left-wing, nut-job types.”) The Cheney Creature also criticized Kerry’s record on the Senate Intelligence Committee, and added that any politician who played hockey struck him as “subversive, odd, and potentially Canadian.” Cheney said sensitivity was not likely to win a war. “Those who threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively. They need to be f*&%ing destroyed,” he hollered while goose-stepping about the stage. None of the country’s military heroes would follow Kerry’s advice, the ancient Veep codger told an audience that included many veterans. President Abraham Lincoln and Gen. Ulysses Grant “did not wage sensitive wars,” Cheney said. “... And I ought to know, because I grew up with those guys. Now someone get my my f%$#ing hemorrhoid cream!” Aug 14 / 2004 |
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