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Campaign Journal My big fat democrat of a moocher pal, Michael Moore dropped by and was in quite a tizzy because he’d heard I had been hanging out with Al “The Buck Toothed Moron” Franken. The sherry swilling and champagne drinking socialist seemed a tad miffed that I might want to hang out with a Republican basher who wasn’t him and he ranted quite heartily about Al Frankenstein’s dubious literary credentials and his disdain for that simpering “gosh darn it, people like me” Stuart Smiley character of his -- no arguments from me on that one. Then he asked me to “loan” him a couple of hundred bucks so he could make a down payment on a stuffed elephant head that he wants to have mounted in his living room. “Get ready for more Michael Moore coming to a bookstore near you soon,” he boasted, while routing through my fridge. Yup, in the spirit of gouging the public and playing on their sentiments, my millionaire pal has two new quickie books coming out this fall. They are the Official Fahrenheit 9-11 Reader, which is a brilliant way to make more money on the movie, and a collection of letters written to Moore from U.S. troops in Iraq. “Which is great,” Michael added, “because I don’t have to do any writing and can just watch as the dough rolls in. Ka-ching! I’m hoping to have them at number 1 and 2 on the bestseller list. Oh man, I am so rich!” And now that he’s on a roll, there’s no stopping this guy from endorsing any piece of crap and sticking his name on it. Also coming soon are, Michael Moore’s Tandoori Sauce, Michael Moore’s Demo-Cat Food, Michael Moore’s New Line of Disco Balls, Michael Moore’s Home Bidet Kit, Michael Moore’s Cardiovascular Clamps, Michael Moore’s ‘Holier Than Thou’ Bible, and the Michael Moore Divorce Kit.
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