Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

Aug 27 / 2004

President Bush said Thursday that he believes he made the right decision to unilaterally charge into war and sacrifice the lives of unappreciated soldiers. He also truly believes that voters will not deny him a second term. Oh, and he thinks that Fred Flintstone is a real person.

The President said he believes that even if people disagree with the war, or with his buddy Fred’s outdated and sexist ideas about how a cavewoman should serve her caveman, they will still “Vote for the Bushster!”

With the number of U.S. casualties expected to reach 1,000 well before the election, Bush said, "The president (that’s me -- not Dick) has to make hard decisions. My job is to confront problems not to pass them on like so many coodies. And the American people have seen me make the hardest of decisions -- Coke or Pepsi... I made my choice (grape juice) and I stand by it.”

Public opinion initially favored Bush's decision to go to war, but after months of casualties and chaos, the public is evenly divided on the subject now.

"There's a lot of my, well, I don’t want to call them

friends, because I don’t have any, so let’s say associates. Yeah, there are a lot of my associates who come and bass-fish with me. They don't say it out loud, but I know they're thinking it: How? How did a simple boob like me nab the number one job?" Bush said. "And the answer is, well, you know... What that Michael Moore guy is always saying," he said.

On other points, Bush said:

  • Even though Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld should have his sorry can fired, “I’m not going to do it.”
  • The campaign for the White House "really doesn't seem that ugly to me" despite the furor over political ads by outside groups attacking John Kerry's war record, “in fact, I thought those ads were hilarious and effective.”
The most disappointing thing about his four years in office has been his personal chef, “the guy can’t grill a decent steak to save his ass.”

Aug 26 / 2004
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