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| Avery's
Campaign Journal Well, Day One of The Republican Convention wasn’t a complete snore. The Saturday Night Live opening parody finally proved unequivocally that Conservatives have no sense of humor. And as expected the Republicats wasted no time with the props (those purple hearted band aids), jingoism and hearty doses of “the cloying factor.” Throw in a special guest appearance by the Conservative who once called Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell “corrupting influences” and “the forces of evil,” and who said of the Bushster “he twists the truth like Clinton,” (And that wasn’t meant in a nice way!) as John McCain once did, and it was both plenty dull and a mildly unnerving night. But the real sparks were ignited by “Resident Bush” earlier when he finally admitted that the war on terrorism could not be won, forcing his aides to scramble to defend his remarks just as he had hoped to begin to bask in convention accolades and party girls. In an interview, Bush spouted the usual rhetoric about staying the course and then admitted that much like his battle against sin, an all-out victory against terrorism might not be possible. Asked, “Can we win?” Bush said, “Pass me the scotch, will you?” White House spokesman Scott McClellan sought to clarify the president’s remarks, telling reporters, “I think he was talking about winning it in the conventional sense. Yes, yes, I’m sure that’s what the stupid little f&*%$er of a fart bag must have meant. Oh man, why can’t that moron ever just say ‘no comment.’ Jesus Christ, my job is hard enough as is without that little Texan squirt making it even worse. I have a peptic ulcer and bad knees... Okay, let’s spin this then... Um, I don’t know, uh, what he meant was that this is a different kind of war and we face an unconventional enemy... How’s that? I know, not great, but it’s’ the best I got.” The president was also asked if he felt most Americans would say they are better off today than four years ago. "I think over 50% will," he said, and if get over 50% that means I win again, right?”Aug 30 / 2004 |
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