Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 13/2004

Here's part two of a skit that was sent to us by Andrew Mackenzie. (June 12/2004) Thanks Andrew. This means I can go skinny dipping with the Olsen twins. (Happy Birthday Girls!)

So: Who has the bigger hotdog? George Bush or John Kerry? Find out in today's phallic conclusion…

George looks at John's hotdog and then holds his up triumphantly.

George: Now while it may be true that my dog may not be a bland and boring relic like yours, it is very firm… Firm and giving. Giving to the touch. It is supple yet rigid, just the way a good hotdog should be.

John: It's soggy, George. Definitely limp. I mean, it's just drooping like a…

George: Like a what!??

John: Like an over cooked hotdog. Now you see how mine is tight in the bun. It nestles between the folds and seems to fit perfectly.

George: So does mine.

John: No, your dog is wedged harshly in. You see, your bun hasn't really opened and allowed your dog to gently slip in. And that's because my bun is moist and yours is not.

George: My bun is exceptionally moist.

John: Then why doesn't your hot dog slip into it like mine?

George: It will, it just needs time for the heat of the hotdog to warm the bun and allow to slide in.

John: Maybe. But I doubt it. I mean look at mine, and then look at yours. Mine has a nice hearty splash of mustard, lots and lots, whereas yours has hardly any.

George: I don't need any sauces or condiments to enjoy my dog

John: But it will be tasteless and boring, whereas mine will excite and arouse my taste buds. I'll savor my meal for days while you will have had a cheap, dry experience that means nothing.

George: Well what do you expect? I picked it up cheap on the corner.

June 12/2004
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June 10/2004
June 9/2004
June 8/2004
June 7/2004
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