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Avery's
Campaign Journal
The Campaign In the USA
June 15/2004
Hit the links with Bush Sr. and the guy who sang for Twisted Sister.
Told George Sr. that I was mighty impressed with him jumping out of an
airplane for his 80th birthday. He got kind of buggy looking, moved close
and told me that in fact, he hadn't jumped. "That lousy, no-good,
son of mine pushed me out!" I admitted to being shocked and he filled
me in on all the lurid details. Apparently George Jr. had offered to take
his dad out on a small plane as a birthday gift. Once they were up about
13,000 feet in the air, George Jr. commented on the lovely view below
and when George Sr. looked out the hatch, "the bastard pushed me!"
Luckily for George Sr., six soldiers with cameras on their heads were
able to attach a parachute to his back. "I was hopping mad!"
the ex-prez told me, "But George Jr. apologized, said it was 'but
a joke' and promised he would never do it again. In fact, he invited me
back up into the twin-engine DeHavilland for a second spin… And then
the skulking rat pushed me again! I guess he's ticked at me for saddling
him with my ex-crew of administrative good ol' boys. Still, that's hardly
a reason to commit patricide. That %*#$&*ing, weasel of an ingrate
is definitely out of my will."
I suggested some family counseling but George Sr. just scoffed at this
notion, drove his tee shot into a water hazard and swore a blue streak.
The guy from Twisted Sister said he thought the whole situation was, "totally
heavy, man," and George gave him a sour look of disapproval. Later
George told me, "I hadn't meant for that fruit cake from Twisted
Sister to hear that bit of privileged information. This is problematic.
I had originally intended to have the flaming rocker blackballed from
the club because of those damn metal woods of his, but now I think I'm
going to have to get a couple of my Secret Service guys to 'take care
of him.' Ha, ha, ha!"
June 14/2004
June 13/2004
June 12/2004
June 11/2004
June
10/2004
June
9/2004
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