Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 19/2004

As you all know, my good pal Bill "Who's Your Daddy?" Clinton has written his memoirs, "Sexing It Up In The White House - My 8 Years of Bedding And Bagging Beauties, Broads, and Babes" and I've been lucky enough to get an advanced peek-a-boo at Mr. Clinton's "sex diaries." And let me say, the book is riveting, titillating, and wonderfully punctuated. What's also incredible is that virtually every paragraph ends with the sentence "And then she asked me why I wasn't wearing any pants."

Here are but a few tasty samples:

July 14, 1997: …And so then we made the beast with two backs! I asked if she was worried that her husband would find out, but she said that Jean was so busy running Canada into the ground that he'd never notice. I smiled and we did it again…

August 23, 1996: …I told her I'd put my pants on, but only if she'd give "Little Bill" a quick search for moles. She rolled her eyes and agreed. She seemed so put out! So I told Mrs. Thatcher to be brave and think of the Queen (hey, I know I was!).

February 2, 1998: … Spent the day thinking about how to use my cigars as sexual objects. Have come up with some rather ingenious and creative ideas. Can't wait to try them out!

April 17, 1999: … He said that in France everyone accepted the fact that most politicians have mistresses. The French are a wise culture! We had several glasses of champagne and after he passed out I put the moves on his wife AND his mistress. Bon! Bon! Jackpot!

June 18/2004
June 17/2004
June 16/2004
June 15/2004
June 14/2004
June 13/2004
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The Campaign In the USA

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