Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 22/2004

Here's a skit that was sent to me by my new comedy writer, Andrew Mackenzie. Thanks Andrew. It's really great that you're willing to get paid with magical beans as opposed to real cash. Thanks, buddy!

George Bush, John Kerry and Avery Ant have been playing Trivial Pursuit.

We open on this scene to see George holding a smoking gun. John Kerry lies dead on the floor, his body is lifeless (much more lifeless than usual… We know this because we've checked for a pulse), and slumped on the floor in a pool of blood. Avery Ant sits in a chair bleeding from the chest, he appears weak and in shock.

George: I'm sorry…

Avery: George… Take the pie… Australia was close enough.

George: It's just that I'm so bad at geography.

Avery: Just put the gun away, George, and take the pie.

George: I didn't mean to get so riled, I really didn't. Does it hurt much, Avery?

Avery: Surprisingly not… I don't feel much of anything, actually.

George: Wow.

Avery: Which is of some concern… Say, you know, George, I think I'd be willing to concede at this point and just settle for a little medical attention. And I'm sure John feels the same way.

George: I feel terrible Avery. I didn't want to win like this.

Avery: George… John seems to be dead… I don't think he could continue even if he wanted to… As for me… Well, unless I'm mistaken, I think I just felt one of my lung's collapse, and I really am happy to call it a night.

George: I'm sorry Avery, but I just can't forget about it as easily as you can…

Tomorrow: Will George shoot Avery? Will he shoot John again? Will he shoot himself? Or will they play more Trivial Pursuit?

June 21/2004
June 20/2004
June 19/2004
June 18/2004
June 17/2004
June 16/2004
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