| Avery's
Campaign Journal
The
Campaign In the USA
June
23/2004
Part two-sees of a super fun skit: Yesterday George Bush had
just shot John Kerry dead and seriously wounded Avery Ant, and all because Mr.
Bush had given the wrong answer in a Trivial Pursuit Geography question (Geography
isn't George's best subject). George had answered "Australia" when,
in fact, the correct answer was "Washington." Mr. Kerry continues to
silently bleed, Avery is willing to call it a game, but our president remains
as stubborn as always.
Avery: Look George, John is dead. I
don't think he could continue playing even if he wanted to. As for me, well, I
just felt a lung collapse and am really happy to call it a night.
George:
I'm sorry Avery, but I can't just forget about it as easily as you can. There's
more at stake here than just the game. It's the principle. It's like those weapons
of mass destruction and the bin Laden and Saddam connection…
Avery:
Oh Jesus Christ! Not this again!
George: My point is… Um, wait, I know I have one….
Avery:
Look, George…
George: Oh wait, I remember! My point is that I can't
just haul off and shoot someone every time I start to lose at Trivial Pursuit…
It's… unsportsman like. And to have you concede… Well, it's hardly worth
winning then, is it?
Avery: I understand your point, George. But I really
think I ought to see about having this freaking hole in my chest looked at!
George:
See? You are angry. Well aren't I just a complete son of a bitch.
Avery:
George, please, forget about the game.
George: The thing that really steams
me was that I was so close to winning.
Avery: Ha!
George: What
did you say?
Avery" I said "Ahhh!" I've been shot you stupid
asshole!
George: You see! You do you think I'm stupid. Everyone thinks
I'm stupid… John thought I was stupid. But I showed him, didn't I?
Tomorrow
- More wacky antics from the prez with the gun!
June
22/2004
June
21/2004
June
20/2004
June
19/2004
June 18/2004
June
17/2004
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