Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 30/2004

Looks like the love affair is over between Ralph "Wild Man" Nader and The Green Party (aka The Party That Runs on Vegetable Oil). Seems The Green Machine is tired of Mr. Nader's insistence on driving his SUV to the corner store because he "likes wasting gas."

The Greeners also uncovered a document in which Nader admits to his complete ignorance about Kyoto and ponders, "Kyoto? Let me guess. Is it one of those cool movie monsters from those Japanese films of the 1960's?"

The Green Party has decided to elect a fellow who goes by the name of David Cobb. "We felt that the name Cobb was an eco-friendly name," gushed a party member who wasn't wearing a bra and was in desperate need of a bath.

Mr. Cobb, who gave his last address as "under a bridge that I share with some eco-friendly trolls" was tending to a leaky septic tank and unavailable for comment.

Members and political observers say the decision to support Mr. Cobb gives the party a chance to prove what it can do in the presidential race without a brand name such as Nader. "My guess is, that this decision will end up biting us in the ass," said another unwashed Green supporter, "but, then isn't that the Green Party motto 'Will They Ever Learn?' I think it is… Anyway, we did ask Avery Ant to lead us, but he insisted we all bathe and then revere him as an ant god."

Not true, I merely insisted they make the odd sacrifice and requested that they wash their filthy feet if they ever planned on dropping by my house.

June 29/2004
June 28/2004
June 27/2004
June 26/2004
June 25/2004
June 24/2004
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