Avery's Campaign Journal

The Campaign In the USA

June 9/2004

Part 4 Of - AVERY: I HAD A DREAM.

For you dithering Democrats and rambling Republicans who aren't up to speed, I'm retelling a dream I had about George Bush and John Kerry as a bickering married couple. My advice is to check out all the wacky antics and sitcom mix-ups of June the 6th, 7th, and 8th then come back to this thrill-a-thon.

George, having broken up with John is now preparing to leave my house. John has become rather passionate and is pleading his case to George. Tipper's torso remains slumped over the dining room table. I still can't see myself, and that's probably just as well.

John: But George, you can't leave me. Who will I play good president/bad president with?

George: I guess you'll have to find someone else to spank.

John: And what about our special Sunday nights when we watched football, put each other's hair in curlers, drank coco, and made jokes about the French, the Canadians, and of course, the French Canadians.

George: Tough toenails.

John: Damn your eloquence! George please, I don't want to be single. To go home to an empty White House and listen to the unmistakable sound of my own voice bouncing off empty walls, echoing through all those poorly decorated rooms, reverberating about the oval office, coursing across the hallways and past the entrails of discarded socks, dirty underwear and soiled shirts that lay abandoned on the floor like so many…

George: Oh for God's sake shut your borehole! Anyway, you don't have to worry about any of that stuff because you won't be staying in the White House. I'm tossing you out on to the street.

John: You monster!

George laughs in a sinister way. John begins to cry softly.

George: Don't worry, I'll find a nice Motel 6 for you.

John: I can change, George.

George: No you can't. You're a politician.

John: Well so are you.

George: It's true, we have so much in common.

John: Like how I don't believe your lies and you don't believe mine.

George: There's that. Plus the fact that we'd both secretly like to bomb Scotland into the neither regions of hell.

They smile. Their hands touch.

John: I love you George.

George: I love you too, John.

John: Let's never fight again.

George: Okay.

John: Promise?

George: Sure, why not. If you do…

They both burst out laughing and hug each other.

Tipper's torso rises.

Tipper's Torso: Get out of my house, you awful and boring men!!!!!

Anyway, it's at this moment that I wake up. FYI: I'm laughing and screaming. Oh, and yes, I'm naked.!

June 8/2004
June 7/2004
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