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| Avery's
Campaign Journal Looking to find out what the candidates were actually thinking during the Town Hall debate? Click here: October 8 As for today’s business... President Shrub and Sen. Yawn Kerry, their animosity stirred by a contentious second debate, lit into each other over Iraq, jobs and the other stuff. The trained monkeys also sharply critiqued each other’s debate performances. “The reason I thought he was making all those scowling faces was because he broke noxious wind and released the most foul of gasses – that is to say, he farted.” Kerry told reporters. “He who smelt it, dealt it,” the President responded. At another point, Kerry joked that he was "a little worried ... I thought the president was going to attack (moderator) Charlie Gibson... But of course, if he were going to attack him, he’d have used the army as opposed to getting his own hands dirty. Ha, ha, ha! Now that’s humor!” The tight race heading into the final three weeks looks a lot like the 2000 election that Bush narrowly stole over flamboyant Democrat Al Gore, pollster John Zogby said. “This is so much like 2000 it’s scary,” Zogby said before screaming in terror and running off. Meanwhile, President Bush, speaking to more than 7,000 supporters at a Waterloo, Iowa, baseball field, declared himself a God and then ridiculed Kerry. "With a straight face, he said, 'I had only one position on Iraq.' I could barely contain myself. I hate it when people criticize me. No lie – and look, I know I tend to do that a lot, but I’m telling the truth now, when I say that I honestly wanted to kill that asshole.” Bush senior adviser (and Satan’s drinking pal) Karl Rove, in a rare on-the-record talk with reporters traveling with Bush, defended Bush's more combative tactics in the second debate. "We’re going to win. George didn’t sell his eternal soul for nothing,” Rove muttered. |
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