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Campaign Journal Looking to find out what the candidates were actually thinking during the Town Hall debate? Click here: October 8----- Well, gang, the Cheney parents won't let go of it, the press won't let go of it, so what the heck, I'll foray into this whole gay comment thing... As we all now know, Mary Cheney works quietly "behind the scenes" on her daddy-oh's vice presidential campaign, but she was dragged front-and-center after Yawn Kerry reminded us that she is a lesbian during his debate with President Shrub. Her parents were advised by their handlers to act furious, to attack Kerry, to be sure to use the qualifier "as an irate mother/father..." and to keep railing until everyone else was thoroughly bored with it all. However, there are those who say the Gargoyle and the Gorgon may have overreacted to what Kerry called an attempt to compliment them on how they have dealt with having a lesbian daughter. But that's not stopping Dick and Lynne. See Dick and Lynne run the subject to the ground. Run with it, Dick, run with it. To the ground, Lynne! To the ground! "I'm a pretty angry father," said the vice president. "As an irate mother, I thought it was a cheap and tawdry political trick," charged his wife. A campaign spokeswoman said Mary Cheney, who runs operations in the vice president's campaign office, declined to comment - and thus prove that at least one member of the Cheney family has some dignity. But others said Kerry's comments seemed well within bounds, especially because Mary Cheney has been public about her sexuality and because her father has discussed it openly before. And cynics believe that Mary's homosexuality may be a good thing for the Republicans. Certainly, it's one issue that almost softens the otherwise permanent harshness of Ogre Cheney. And while he's not big on trotting Mary out onto the stage, (she was nowhere to be seen at the Republican Convention finale) his pro-gay stance makes him seem almost modern and enlightened. This summer, the Dickster spoke at some length about his daughter's sexuality and his view of gay relationships. He also publicly disagreed with Bush about the need for a constitutional amendment prohibiting same-sex marriages, saying he preferred that the states settle the issue. Steve Gunderson, a former Republican congressman who is gay, called Kerry's comments "absolutely appropriate." "It's trying to put a human face and make clear the issue of one's sexual orientation does not honor partisan lines," said Gunderson, who used to represent Wisconsin and now performs drag in a New York City Night Club. The flap was ignited during the final presidential debate, when Kerry was asked whether homosexuality is a choice. “We're all God's children," he said. "It's just that some of God's children have superior fashion sense and decorating prowess. I call them God's Flaming Angels, and I think if you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is one of those Flaming Angels, she would tell you that she's being who she was. Now watch me juggle these bowling pins!" President Shrub, while taking in a round of golf, said, "Other than Mary Cheney, I don't know any gays. And I don't really know her. So I guess that means that I don't know any gays... Now watch me hit this drive." Rep. Dick Gephardt defended Kerry on a subject he knows well. His daughter is a lesbian, too. He said, "What John Kerry said was very kind. I used to be terribly ashamed of my lesbian daughter until I realized I could score political points out of it. Now, if it's gay, or gay-themed, I'm there in my leather outfit and ready to dance!" Said Mr. Gephart's beaming daughter, "My dad is ever evolving." Some of the congressman's other recent progressive and evolutionary steps include, coming down out of his tree, using animal skins for clothing, learning how to eat insects with a stick, and discovering fire. "I think Dick Cheney's family situation is very public, very known to everybody," said Gephardt. "When you're in politics today, everything is out there. I know that. My gay daughter, who is gay, by the way, knows that. And my wife, who I suspect might be gay as well, knows that." Betty Degeneres, whose daughter, the comedian Ellen Degeneres, is also a lesbian, said she was baffled that her opinion on this subject was asked for. "My kid's in show biz, what was I supposed to expect? Why are you asking me this, anyway? And what are you doing in my house? Get the hell out of here!" This wasn't the first time Mary Cheney has been thrown into the news involuntarily. At this summer's Republican convention, Illinois Republican Senate candidate Alan Keyes said that, as a lesbian, she is a "selfish hedonist." Mr. Keyes was last seen trying to channel the ghost of TV dad, Ward Cleaver. Most surprising is the Cheney's outrage. After all, the vice president has not shied away from the topic. "Lynne and I have a gay daughter, either that or a heterosexual son with a vagina. Although I'm pretty sure it's a gay daughter. So it's an issue our family is very familiar with," Cheney said.
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