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| Avery's
Campaign Journal ... Election... burnout... race... too close to call... Karl Rove... Satan’s drinking pal... Resident Shrub... Yawn Kerry... Election officials fear repeat of 2000... 36 more days... Iowa... Florida... In the spirit of making us all feel like we need to take a long shower, President George and Sen. Yawn unabashedly sought political advantage Saturday from Osama bin Laden’s re-emergence. One almost expected to hear both men utter the words, “He’s my guy!” “It’s very helpful to the president,” contended Bush ally Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., “knowing that he’s still alive and out there. It was all part of our brilliant strategy. This is good news for Republicans everywhere. Ring out the bells. Osama is alive!” Bush, who was unusually tightlipped about the tape finally commented, “While I don’t really think about him, I do have a plan on how to kill him. I’m gonna let nature take its course. So he should be dead in 20 or 30 years. It’s brilliant in my simplicity.” Campaigning 25 miles from the president in eastern Wisconsin, Kerry responded to bin Laden’s re-emergence with positive glee. “Whew! We were worried that the Republicans were going to trot him out all captured and shackled on November the first. Thank God he’s still at large.” The two candidates responded to the bin Laden tape in ways reflecting their long-held campaign strategies. The Bush administration started in with their terror mongering and warned state and local officials that the tape means everyone is going to die unless they convert to Christianity and vote for George. Kerry has tried a series of different tactics, none of them very successful... Still much in play through all this, is the nasty factor. And the Republicans have taken to calling every would-be Democratic Senator in America a closeted homosexual. In a presidential race this close, both sides are on the alert for below-the-radar nastiness. Democrats said a bogus letter was circulating in South Carolina, threatening the arrest of voters who listened to rap music, had outstanding parking tickets or smoked the occasional joint. Vice President Dick Cheney told Pennsylvania Republicans that the bin Laden tape is “a reminder that we are engaged in a war on terror.” Gee, thanks for reminding us, Dick. Kerry spokesman, Mike McCurry, rejected Republican assertions that the Democrat was playing politics with the bin Laden tape. “The very idea is as dead as Osama. Oh wait, he’s very much alive, isn’t he?” McCuury said.Oct 30 / 2004 |
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