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| Avery's
Campaign Journal Contrary to popular belief it was Jenna and Barbara Bush (not Arnold) who really stole the show last night. Once again proving that Republicans are better at scaring people than they are at making them laugh, the president’s twin daughters started the riotous laugh fest by making a hilarious reference to their Ganny Barbara’s out of touch and geriatric ways. Party girl and future stand up comedian Barbie Jr. said, “Our Ganny isn’t hip.” Barbara Bush not hip? I don’t believe it. She looks so hip! Okay, she maybe old and in need of a hip replacement, but I’m sure her new hip would be even hipper than her old hip. Displaying a rather bizarre notion of just what love is, Barbara Jr. said, “We love our dad too much to stand back and watch from the sidelines,” and then preceded to thoroughly embarrass him and the rest of the Bush clan... Yes, the nation got a first good look at the twins on a prime-time stage Tuesday night and were also privy to getting a quick peek at an exasperated Dick Cheney, who, if he was Caesar, would probably have sent the lions in. After spouting some more lame humor, the alternative Olsen Twins then introduced their vittles-eating dad, who in turn introduced his catfish-guttin’ wife. “We spent the last four years trying to stay out of the spotlight,” Jenna Bush said to the frowning Conservative delegates. “But now we’re out and we’ve got a long list of other Sex and the City jokes that use our Ganny as the punch-line.” The casually dressed young women made fun of their parent’s overall lameness and sprinkled their five-minute speech with outdated pop culture references. “They do know the difference between mono and Bono,” Jenna Bush said, “mono is an infectious disease and Bono is a pompous and political Irish rock star –- which is way worse than an infectious disease.” “We had a hamster, too,” Barbara chuckled. “Let’s just say ours didn’t make it.” While some believed this was a comic reference to the revival efforts that the daughters of Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry said he performed on a family pet, it actually was a darker reference to the time the girls took their hamster “Bushie” on a drinking binge and the poor creature overdosed on pink gins and cigarettes. For most of the administration, the public has seen only occasional photos of Jenna and Barbara, and the images were often unflattering. As college students, they were most in the news for extracurricular drinking. And there’s no doubt about it –- we’ve all now seen enough of them now to last a lifetime.
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