Avery for Prime Minister


Team Avery is, quite frankly, disgusted by the current state of Canada's military. Equipment is obsolete or in a state of disrepair, supplies are low and morale is even lower. The Canadian military has become an ill-equipped laughing stock.

The way Team Avery sees it, we have two options.

Option one would be to make a massive reinvestment in Canada's armed forces. New tanks, new weapons, new submarines, new state-of the art fighter jets. This type of investment would renew Canadian pride in our armed forces and position Canada as a leader in global security.

But that sounds like a lot of work and it's likely gonna cost a few bucks too.

So, here is the Team Avery option. It's cost-efficient and will get us the same results.

Starve the Army.

That's right, starve the army. If our military men and women are going to be effective fighters we want them mad, deliriously mad, insanely mad. So I say disarm them, take away the comfy cots and mess halls and throw them deep into the Northern Ontario bush with sharpened sticks and a couple pieces of flint. In time, believe me, these guys will turn into feral monsters ready to rip the heads of chickens, deer or any enemy we put in their path. The guys aren't that far from this state right now anyway so I figure it's easier to strip away their 20 year old guns than it is to try and buy them a 3 billion dollar submarine.

Think of it, the Canadian Forces will be known far and wide as the freakiest, nastiest, most loco mother f*****s this side of Mongolia. I don't know about you, but if I were some country itchin' for a fight I'd rather battle the milk-fed farm boy with an M-16 than the naked, howling wolf-boy with the handful of rocks and the crazy eyes.


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